Christmas

We had a sweet, rewarding, and completely exhausting Christmas. Aubrey has been such a trooper through everything.  I don't think she really quite gets what is happening yet, but she is taking all the changes in stride.

While I was in labor with Cora but before my mom could get here from Canada (about 24 hours) Aubrey was passed around to 3 different friends who took care of her. She thought it was the greatest thing and was excited that she got to play with so many friends.

I'm also so grateful for what wonderful friends we have. So many people have helped and blessed our lives the past few days. Especially my mom who dropped everything and hopped on a plane right before Christmas (again). I do not know how we would survive right now without her!

In between hospital trips, we had a fun Christmas and delicious Christmas dinner.

I can't wait until we can get a picture with all 4 of us!

And... if Steven and I look completely exhausted, it is because we are :)

Some things NICU round two have been a lot easier. I know what all the machines and tubes and wires mean. I know what steps need to be taken to get little Cora home. I have already taught one preemie to nurse, and I understand how all that goes. The pumping every 2 to 3 hours around the clock is terrible, but I have also been there before.

But, a lot of things are way harder this time! I feel constantly torn. When I am with Cora, I worry about Aubrey feeling neglected. When I am at home, I can't stop thinking about Cora.

Right now we are going to the hospital about 3 times a day and spending about 2 hours there each time. We also live 20 minutes away. Then, we rush home to spend as much time with Aubrey as possible. 

Cora is strong and steady. She reminds me a lot of Steven so far. She is also doing so well for a 34 weeker. She is amazing me with how fast she is progressing. I'm sure there will be setbacks, but so far she is much stronger than Aubrey was (and look at what a spunky little girl Aubrey is now!)

Our little glow worm under the bilirubin lights.

 Sisters. Teaching Aubrey to be soft is going to be a process. 

The proud dad.

Christmas in the NICU is definitely not what I expected, but both my girls are doing well, so that is the best Christmas gift I could ask for.

Our little Cora is here!

Our sweet little Cora Nicole was born this morning. Surprised? We were too. I really thought and hoped that I would make it full-term.

Everything was looking picture perfect at the doctors. Weight, blood pressure, baby, measurements... literally everything was "textbook" perfect. We tried P17 shots, my cervix was measured, extra doctors appointments and screenings, etc. Everything looked great, but it seems as if my body hits 34 weeks pregnant and that is it!

Here is her birth story...

I woke up Friday morning and felt fine. Steven went to work, Aubrey and I ate breakfast. I took a shower and then gave her a bath. We played princess and I was getting really excited because Steven was coming home at noon and it was the start of our Christmas break since he has the next week and a half off work.

At about 9:30 am I just started feeling a ton of pressure. I have really been trying to listen to my body and take it easy, so I put a TV show on for Aubrey and I rested on the couch. By about 10 am, I started to feel pain. By 10:30 I felt like I was having contractions. So, I called Steven and told him to come home. By this point, I was honestly crying. I cried for a while. It took me a while to accept that despite everything I tried.... she was probably coming early. I just "felt" like this was it. I hoped that I was wrong because everything was going so well and it just came out of nowhere (again) but I kind of knew.

I called the doctor and they told me to go to the hospital. We arrived at about 11:30 and then checked to see where things were at. 3 cm dilated. Just like when I got to the hospital with Aubrey. And again, just like Aubrey, I had no clue that anything was happening until like an hour before.

Since my water hadn't broken yet, the doctors gave me a bunch of drugs to try to slow down/stop my labor. When it became obvious that it couldn't be stopped, they just said that every hour could help so they slowed things down as much as they could. I am pretty sure if they hadn't, she would have come really fast.

The rest of the day was pretty long. I held off on getting the epidural until about 5:30 pm so it was a pretty long day of contractions. Not fun. The epidural was nice, but just like with Aubrey, I don't freeze well. So, I still felt most of the contractions. The drugs they gave me also gave me a really bad headache and my blood pressure kept dropping crazy low so I was dizzy and nauseous for most of the day. 

At about 10 pm, things started to really hurt. So, I asked for more drugs :) I figured... what is the point of an epidural if it doesn't even work that great? Well... then things were really nice. Finally, at about 11 pm, when I was checked at a 9 and it was obvious they couldn't do much more to slow things down, the doctor came and broke my water so I could deliver.

Yikes! As soon as she did that, things got intense. Even with the extra epidural. Around 11:30, I kept telling the nurse that I felt a ton of pressure. We all kind of wanted to make it to midnight so that technically she would be born at 34 weeks 5 days instead of 4 days. Every day makes a difference with preemies. At that point, a few extra minutes wouldn't have mattered, but I wanted that extra day because I fought hard for each day this pregnancy. 

So, I pretty much tried to not push. When I did start pushing, she had to stop me to run and get the doctor. 2 pushes later and she was here! Crazy different than the 2 hours of pushing + vacuum that I did with Aubrey. It was so fast. 

She was born at 12:04 am, weighing 4 lbs 14 oz and 17.5 inches long. She got 9 and 9 on her APGARS, and has been on room air since birth. They even let me hold her for a few minutes before they took her away to the NICU. She is tiny and dark and beautiful.

It is amazing to me how love really does just grow. I thought that my heart was full of so much love for Steven and Aubrey. I still love them just as much, but there is now a whole new kind of love for our little Cora there as well.

She seems to be doing really really well. Just like with any major trial, only those who have been through the NICU roller coaster can really understand how much work it is to get them home. I know that there will be setbacks along our way to get her home, but she is doing great so far. She is much stronger than Aubrey was at birth, so we will see how long we are here.

It all feels like deja-vu. Another preemie. Another Christmas in the NICU. More hours of pumping. More missing my sweet baby and wishing I could hold her. But, I am happy and I am grateful. I am so lucky to be a mother and lucky that even though this is really really hard, I am so blessed to have these girls in my life.

We are happy to be a family of 4 and can't wait until we can take our sweet Cora home.

Aubrey is 2!

I really can't believe that my little girl is a full-blown two-year-old. Where does the time go?

Since Aubrey and her soon-to-be little sister have the same due date, it has been exciting but kind of emotional at the same time. Aubrey's birthday has been much anticipated... mostly because I am so excited for her, but also because I kept wondering if I would still be pregnant by now. I won't go into lots of pregnancy details, because this is about Aubrey, but yes, I am still pregnant!

Because I really had no idea what would be going on with the baby, I was nervous to plan a big party. So we had an "all about Aubrey" day instead. She definitely had a fantastic day. She kept saying, "Happy Birthday Aubrey!" It cracked me up.

She started the day by opening her presents. She loved playing with all her new toys. I have already bought a new toy storage system in anticipation of the onslaught between her birthday and Christmas.

Then we went to this huge (and I mean huge... think a few hundred kids running around) playgroup with a few of her little friends. I didn't take any pictures there because it is the kind of place where if you turn your back for a second you could lose your kid, but she absolutely loves going there. 

Then lunch at LinkedIn with daddy. "Shopping", "Inked In," and "friends" are frequently brought up as favorites. 

Naptime. So, the whole day wasn't all about Aubrey. This part was for me.

Play with toys and dinnertime! Homemade mac and cheese and fruit salad. I really tried to make something I knew she would love. She ate some, but really not much. Some days I wonder how she survives :)

Then, cake and ice cream. I made a hot pink rosette cake for my little girl that loves pink. She really liked trying to blow out the candles.

And... since we have no family around, we did a Google hangout so everybody could sing Aubrey Happy Birthday. I was thrilled because every family member on both sides was there to sing to her. So grateful for technology that can keep us close despite the miles.

More playtime, lots of stories and snuggles, and she is now fast asleep. Pretty fun day for a two-year-old! 

So, this is the part that is probably just for me to remember and the grandparents, but here is what Aubrey is up to at 2!

• Knows most of her colors and a few shapes. She loves "pink, purple, and yellow." All the pictures she brings home from nursery are colored in these colors. Mostly pink though.
• Clothing battles! Ugh. Mostly just sweater/coat battles. It is a good thing we live somewhere relatively warm, because getting her to put one of those on is such a hassle. She also has an opinion and likes to pick out the clothes that Steven and I wear. I think Steven is going on week #3 of purple ties at church.
• Loves to sing. Can sing quite a few songs including almost all of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" by herself.
• Still active as ever. I literally have to run to keep up with her. 
• Definitely throws her share of temper tantrums, but I am finding her actually easier to deal with than the 18-month time period. Now that she can communicate and I can communicate to her, things are less frustrating.
• Talks a lot. Like.... to herself, to her dolls, to us, and to anybody she is comfortable with. Sometimes is quiet around strangers, but she is saying new things everyday. 
• Very friendly and social. LOVES her friends. Talks about them all the time. She plays really well with other kids, but can be kind of passive aggressive. We had a little friend over the other day and instead of just not sharing, she was hiding her favorite toys so he couldn't play with them. I couldn't help but laugh at that. 
• Still my amazing little sleeper. Sometimes she doesn't like when the books and stories have to end at bedtime but she goes to sleep so quickly and sleeps all night without a peep. Do you think I can get this lucky twice?
• I would say my most frustrating part of the day with Aubrey is getting from our third-floor apartment to the car. She runs away, demands to be carried, or just is plain slow. This is probably the main reason I just have to move when our contract is up in February. 
• Loves babies, dolls, and anything girly.

There is so much more, but we just love our little Aubrey. She is such a joy!

Vintage Affair

We went to the LinkedIn Christmas party this past Saturday and had a great time.

First, I sent Aubrey and Steven to the ward Christmas party so I could blast some Taylor Swift music while doing my hair and make-up completely toddler-free. Definitely brought me back to my high school days until I had to get dressed and remembered I was 8 months pregnant.

LinkedIn sure knows how to throw a party! The party was at the Fairmont hotel in downtown San Jose and they definitely didn't spare any expense. Everything was great... except parking, which was a complete nightmare.

There were various ballrooms around the hotel that had bands, music, games, etc. While most people couldn't wait to get as many free drinks as possible, Steven and I took it upon ourselves to try out the different buffets in each and every room. I was soo full....

They had everything from fancy food like oysters, crab, and sushi to a nacho bar and candy room. We had a lot of fun and I sure always enjoy a date night out with the Steven.

We also stopped at one of the photobooth stations. I love photobooths. I had Steven scan our pictures, but the quality is pretty bad and he cut off the last picture. Gives it character I guess.

Aubrey also had a great time and definitely wishes her parents would fork over the money for a baby-sitter more often. She was thrilled that somebody new came over to play and happily waved bye bye as we left. She is such a social little girl and I am very happy she is so well-adjusted, but sometimes a mom would like to feel missed!

Can't wait to see what next year's party brings. We are grateful that Steven has a good job that allows me to stay home with our kiddos. The cool parties are just a bonus :)

Sick

This is what my normally spunky little girl looks like after being up all night throwing up:

It was pretty sad.

She went to bed Thursday night completely fine. I went in to check on her about an hour later and when I peeked in I saw that she was lying down with her eyes open. So I went over to give her a kiss and when I got closer I noticed something smelled a little funny. She was completely covered in throw-up! All over her bedding, pillow, pajamas, etc. She looked up at me and said, "Clean up?"

I felt terrible. She didn't cry, or try to come get me or anything! I mean... I'm glad she is such a good sleeper and stays in bed all night, but I felt so bad. Luckily, it was only an hour and not all night.

Then... we spent the ENTIRE night up with her throwing up. I think we both might have fallen asleep between 3 and 4 but I'm really not sure. 

And... despite my best attempts at directing towards a bowl or running her to the bathroom, toddlers do not aim well.

10 loads of laundry this weekend! Whew. Lots of carpet cleaning as well. 

I suspect the ball pit she had so much fun playing in on Wednesday to be the culprit.... 

I will admit that I'm not very good at the "at-home" part of stay at home mom. We like to get out. It keeps me sane. Unfortunately, that means that we also get sick alot. Stronger immune system right?

But, things are better now. My spunky little girl is back. She was running around like a wild women tonight playing with her "glasses." She still isn't eating much, but that isn't too different than normal :)